Harsh Reality
by DarkAngel19881
Summary: Sometimes you get the opportunity to say goodbye, other times that chance is taken from you. Can Darry ever forgive himself? Better yet will Soda ever forgive him?
1. Chapter 1

Blinded Reality

Chapter one

"Where the hell have you been?" an irritated Darry Curtis demands the minute Ponyboy stepped through the door. Looking around Ponyboy noticed that his other older brother, Soda wasn't anywhere in sight. Ponyboy had been dreading this moment since he had woken up in the lot. Ponyboy lived with his two older brother's Sodapop and Darry Curtis, since their parents had been killed in a wreck a few months before. They were only allowed to remain in Darry's custody as long as they stayed out of trouble. Most of the time Ponyboy found it easy to stay out of trouble other times it could be more difficult, especially if the Soc's were around. They liked to jump greasers and make their lives as miserable as possible. Ponyboy didn't go looking for trouble but often times trouble found him because he lived on the wrong side of the tracks. Ponyboy didn't think it was fair that everyone was judged based on where they lived but he knew there wasn't anything he could do about it for the time being.

"I fell asleep in the lot talking to Johnny" Ponyboy tried to explain, he had hoped that having been with Johnny would cool his brother's temper a little, after all being with Johnny was better than Ponyboy being by his lonesome. Unfortunately from the expression on Darry's face that fact done nothing to sooth his older brother's temper. Darry glared at Ponyboy, making Ponyboy swallow hard. He hated making Darry so angry with him. Though this time around he didn't really think he had done anything wrong.

"You do know it's after two in the morning" Darry snapped, glaring harder at his youngest brother.

"I said I didn't mean too" Ponyboy said as he squeezed past Darry to to get into the restroom. His head had been hurting rather badly since he had been slammed to the ground by the Soc's that had jumped him earlier that day. Ponyboy really didn't want to argue with Darry at that moment, he just wanted to go to bed and sleep of his headache, but he had the feeling that Darry wasn't through yelling at him. Darry didn't seem to care that Ponyboy was feeling bad.

Once in the bathroom, Ponyboy stood in front of the sink looking in the mirror. His skin was much paler than normal and he had circles under his eyes. He hadn't been sleeping well lately but that was probably because of the nightmares he'd been having. Reaching out, Ponyboy turned on the water faucet, making sure the water was cool before he splashed some on his face, hoping that the coolness would help him feel better.

"Ponyboy are you even listening to me!" he heard Darry yell, the noise only making Ponyboy's head throb more. He really wished Darry would stop yelling , he really wasn't helping Ponyboy's aching head.

"My head hurts" Ponyboy tried to explain but Darry ignored Ponyboy's protests.

"Soda is out looking for you right now" Darry said "he has to be up in a few hours for work and instead he is out looking for you."

"I'm sorry, okay" Ponyboy yelled growing frustrated with with his older brother. "I'm sorry I'm such a burden I couldn't exactly help falling asleep."

"You don't ever use your head" Darry growled "you're always sorry but that's not going to fix things one of these days." Ponyboy closed his eyes as he tried to swallow his growing irritation. He was getting sick of never being good enough for his older brother.

"I wish you would stop yelling at me so much." Ponyboy snapped, even as his body ached to feel his lumpy mattress underneath him. He was exhausted but clearly Darry had no plans of letting up on Ponyboy anytime soon.

"I wouldn't have to if you would start using your head." Darry snapped just as their front door opened and Two-Bit Matthews and Steve Randle entered. Steve scowled at Ponyboy before turning his attention to Darry. Steve was Soda's best friend and had been for as long as Ponyboy could remember. Ponyboy couldn't understand what Soda liked about Steve, the older teen was a jerk. Ponyboy couldn't stand Steve and Steve couldn't stand Ponyboy.

"Soda got jumped" Steve informed Darry "He is hurt pretty badly."

"Where is he?" Darry asked his tone changing from angry to worried.

"He's in the park" Steve said as both he and Two-Bit turned and exited the house, with both Darry and Ponyboy following closely behind them.

Darry ran over to his truck and jumped into the driver's seat while Steve, Two-Bit and Ponyboy jumped into the bed. Within seconds of backing out of their drive, Darry was heading towards the park.

"How bad was he hurt?" Ponyboy asked Steve. He could practically feel his heart pounding in his chest. Panic was starting to make it hard for him to breathe.

"Bad enough" Steve muttered "What was he even doing out this late anyhow?" Ponyboy swallowed hard and looked away. He was starting to feel sick to his stomach. Soda had been hurt because he had been out looking for him. Maybe Darry was right Ponyboy never used his head for anything good. Ponyboy had never felt more like an idiot than he did in that moment, he was certain Darry wouldn't use that word, he would probably find something worse to call him.

Still the closer they got to the park the more that the guilt began eating at Ponyboy making him feel sicker than he already was. It was his fault Soda had been jumped after all if Ponyboy had been home when he should have been this might not have happened.

As Darry parked the truck beside a groaning but conscious Soda, Ponyboy looked his brother over, wincing at the cuts and bruises on his older brother's face. Soda didn't look too bad but who knew what kind of injuries were hiding beneath the surface. Fear filled Ponyboy's heart at that thought, and he jumped out of the truck, despite the fact that his brain felt like it was swimming in circles around his skull.

Sprinting to Soda, Ponyboy kneeled down beside him him. One of Soda's eyes was swollen shut and the other had was starting to turn a nice shade of black. Ponyboy winced knowing that both injuries probably hurt a great deal.

"Soda?" Ponyboy asked softly, reaching out and gently nudging Soda's shoulder. At the soft groan that escaped Soda's mouth, tears nearly formed in Ponyboy's eyes. His brother was alive.

"Get out of the way Ponyboy" Darry snapped as he pushed Ponyboy out of the way so that he could get to Soda. Ponyboy groaned as the movement only made his head spin even more. Suddenly Ponyboy felt more nauseous than he did while he had been riding in the truck. Closing his eyes, Ponyboy tried to will the feeling away, he needed to be able to help Soda, not concentrate on whatever illness was threatening to take over his body.

Taking a deep breath, Ponyboy opened his eyes and slowly released it. It done nothing to drive the sick feeling away but Ponyboy decided that he would be able to focus on Soda. Walking back to where Soda lay, Ponyboy squeezed in between Steve and Two-Bit, ignoring the glare that Steve shot his way.

"I don't think he's hurt too bad" Darry said as he gently ran his hands down Soda's sides checking his ribs. "Still might be better to get him checked out at the hospital." if they done that there was a good chance that the state would find out and Ponyboy and Soda would end up in a boy's home.

"Darry" Ponyboy said "what about the state? If they find out..?"

"You should have thought of that before falling asleep in the lot. If you had been home none of this would have happened." Darry snapped harshly not seeing the hurt expression in Ponyboy's eyes. Had Darry known what would later happen that morning he might not have been so harsh with Ponyboy. But since Darry wasn't a fortune teller he would have to learn from his mistakes the hard way.

"You were the reason Soda was out here?" Steve asked, his glare becoming even more angry.

"I didn't mean for this to happen." Ponyboy said "I didn't realize how tired I was."

"Your not using your brain could get your brother killed" Steve snapped "as it is he got jumped because of you." That being said Steve roughly shoved Ponyboy causing Ponyboy's head to slam into the metal side of the truck with a resounding crack. Ponyboy lay stunned for several seconds, his head throbbing even more.

"You are the only one who deserves foster care." Steve muttered as he helped Darry and Two-Bit get Soda into the passenger side of the truck.

Ponyboy wasn't sure how he done it, but he somehow managed to climb back into the truck bed, his head was spinning something awful and the sick feeling in his stomach was only growing worse. On the way back to the house, Ponyboy done his best to avoid looking at either Two-Bit and Steve. Ponyboy's own guilt was worse than anything Steve could put on him, Steve should have known that Ponyboy didn't want to see Soda hurt, heck he didn't want to see Darry hurt either. Maybe Darry was right and Ponyboy never really used his head for anything but dreaming.

Ponyboy could only hope that Soda didn't have any kind of serious injuries he would really hate it if Soda ha to stay in the hospital when they really couldn't afford it. Darry would probably find someway to blame that on him too.

Suddenly bile rose in Ponyboy's throat and he leaned over the side of the truck and vomited harshly making his headache even worse.

"Get that crap on me" Steve glared "and see if I don't beat the snot out of you."

"Come on Steve, lay off of him." Two-Bit spoke up. "He's having a rough night leave him alone."

"He's the reason for the rough night." Steve muttered before turning his back on the obviously ill Ponyboy.

"Ignore him." Two-Bit told Ponyboy who was still leaning against the side of the truck. "Are you sure your okay?" Two-Bit asked, not liking the glazed look in Ponyboy's eyes.

"I'm fine" Ponyboy muttered "Aside from seeing stars." Two-Bit frowned almost wondering if Darry shouldn't take Ponyboy to the hospital and have him checked out as well. Something wasn't right with the youngest Curtis he just couldn't put his finger on it.

A few minutes later Darry pulled into their drive way, leaning out the window Darry looked at Ponyboy who was currently resting his forehead on the side of the truck.

"Get out and get to bed" Darry told him "I'll be back with Soda in a little while."

Ponyboy groaned and slowly pushed himself to his feet, nearly tipping forward too far and falling out of the truck. After a couple deep breaths, Ponyboy threw one leg over the side before slowly hauling his other leg over and jumping off the truck. Stumbling from the dizziness, Ponyboy shook his head before making his way to into the house.

"You better be in bed when I get home" Darry said "You still have to go to school today." Ponyboy barely acknowledged Darry before entering the kitchen. The bad feeling Darry had felt earlier came back in full force, still he ignored it knowing that Soda needed to be checked over. Speeding away from the house Darry couldn't get over the feeling that something was seriously wrong with Ponyboy, still he Darry couldn't do anything about it at that the moment, he was on his way to the hospital with Soda.

Little did he know that at home, Ponyboy had gone out to take out the trash behind the house and had collapsed, his body seizing violently for several minutes before leaving the fourteen year old boy unconscious out in the cold night.

When Darry returned home a few hours later, he helped the barely conscious Soda onto the couch. Before he wandered off towards Ponyboy's and Soda's room. Darry was glad that Soda didn't have broken ribs or other internal injuries or anything serious that couldn't be be fixed with a couple days of rest.

As Darry entered the boys room, he noticed the bed was empty of Ponyboy and from the looks of it, Ponyboy hadn't even sat on the bed.

Scowling, Darry turned and stormed back to the living room. Soda was sitting up with his head leaning against the back, he raised his head when he saw the angry look on Darry's face.

"What's wrong?" Soda asked, moving slowly to stand up.

"Ponyboy is gone again." Darry said just as both Curtis brother's heard Johnny Cade call out for help. Darry and Soda stared at each other, before heading out the door. If Ponyboy wasn't at the house, he could usually be found with Johnny.

Exiting the house, they followed Johnny's voice. The found him kneeling next to an unconscious Ponyboy.

"What happened?" Darry asked as he kneeled down beside his brother, aside from the blood running down Ponyboy's nose, he didn't look like he had been jumped.

"I don't know" Johnny answered "I found him like this. And I think he's been out here a while, he's freezing." Darry reached out and touched Ponyboy's cheek wincing at the coolness.

"Has he been conscious at all?" Darry asked as he noticed the dried blood coming from Ponyboy's nose. He couldn't help but wonder if Ponyboy had been jumped. He didn't think so he couldn't find any kind of injury on Ponyboy other than the bloody nose.

"What's wrong with him Darry?" Soda asked and Darry could hear the fear in his brother's voice.

"I don't know" Darry replied his heart aching as he stood up before bending down and picking Ponyboy up. He didn't like the color of Ponyboy's skin, it really made the blood stand out. He wondered how long Ponyboy had been out here, it had to have been for a while for his little brother to be as cold as he was.

As Darry went to put Ponyboy in the truck, Ponyboy began seizing in Darry's arms, nearly making Darry drop him. Darry could only watch as fear began to build in his chest, as his little brother's limbs flew every which way. One thing was certain there was something seriously wrong, maybe even something life threatening wrong.

 **Should I continue? Thanks for reading and reviewing!**


	2. Chapter 2

Harsh Reality

Chapter 2

Darry lay Ponyboy on the ground, his heart pounding with terror as he watched his youngest brother seize. Darry didn't think he had ever felt so helpless in his life. What did one do for someone that was having a seizure? Darry didn't know.

"Darry" Soda said tears falling down his face, Soda looked as scared as Darry felt. He knew there was something going on in Ponyboy's brain for this to be having a seizure. Darry only hoped that whatever was wrong could be fixed, Darry had to have the opportunity to make up for how he had treated Ponyboy. His little brother hadn't deserved to be treated so badly.

Finally after what seemed like a year, the seizure stopped leaving Ponyboy still and his chest panting heavily. Without pause Darry scooped Ponyboy up and gently placed him on Soda's lap before climbing into the drivers seat. He didn't want to know what the state would think about both his brother's going to the hospital on the same day. Something told Darry though that Ponyboy's issues were a little more complicated than Soda's had been. Ponyboy probably wouldn't be leaving the hospital today, maybe not for a few days. Darry just hoped that Ponyboy's last days weren't spent in the hospital.

"Is he going to be okay Darry?" Soda asked as he gently stroked Ponyboy's cool cheek.

"I don't know, Soda" Darry answered "I don't know what's going on with him."

"Do you think it's serious?" Soda asked. Darry knew that Soda was asking if he thought Ponyboy had something fatal. Darry hoped not but what did he know?

Tightening his hands on the steering wheel Darry tried to keep his focus on the road. It wouldn't do them any good if they all got killed on the way to the hospital.

"Darry, hurry up!" Soda said, his voice urgent. "his breathing is getting worse!" Darry glanced over at Ponyboy. Soda was right Ponyboy's chest was now barely even heaving.

"Hang on, Pony" Darry said terror filling him at the thought of Ponyboy dying before they could even get him to the hospital.

A few minutes later, Darry pulled up to the emergency room doors. He barely took the time to apply the brakes and park before he threw open his door and jumped out, racing over to Soda's side. Throwing open the door, Darry gently took Ponyboy from Soda and rushed Ponyboy into the ER.

"I need help!" Darry called out to the nurse at the check in counter.

"What happened?" she asked as she jumped up and started towards an empty gurney.

"We found him unconscious and then he had a seizure before we could get him in the truck." Darry explained as Soda joined him.

Laying Ponyboy down on the gurney, Darry felt a sharp bite of terror at the thought of being separated from his little brother during what could be Ponyboy's final moments. Darry clinched his hands into fists, he really didn't want to leave Ponyboy's side, but he knew the doctors were going to need to run some tests to see what was wrong.

"Does your brother have epilepsy?" The nurse asked as she started rolling Ponyboy away. Darry could only watch helplessly as Ponyboy disappeared behind the double doors where Darry wasn't permitted to go. He needed his little brother to be okay, he didn't want to think about what would happen if Ponyboy wasn't.

A few minutes later the nurse returned and handed Darry a clipboard to fill out. "Has Ponyboy ever had a seizure before?"

"Before this Ponyboy was always healthy as a horse" Darry replied "I should have seen the signs that something was going on."

"Has he been diagnosed with any kind of head injury."

"Not that I know of" Darry replied shrugging. Before remembering how Steve had shoved Ponyboy away from Soda in the park. Darry didn't think he would ever forget the sound of Ponyboy's head hitting the truck.

"He did hit his head earlier" Darry said "but I think there was something going with him before that." he could now remember how Ponyboy had stumbled towards Soda, almost like he was drunk, when they had pulled up to the park. Darry supposed he should have known then that something had been wrong, but he had been too worried about Soda to care.

"Go have a seat in the waiting room and we will come and get you as soon as we know something." Darry nodded and headed towards the hard plastic chairs, Soda falling into step behind him.

Sitting down in the chairs, Darry lowered his head into his hands. How had the night gone so wrong that he had ended up at the hospital twice in the same day? Looking over at Sodas, Darry wondered how he could even manage to sit there with his injuries, Soda had to be uncomfortable.

"How are you feeling?" Darry asked softly.

"Sore, but I'm not going anywhere until I hear something about Ponyboy" Soda stated firmly knowing that Darry would likely try to send him home. "your not making me go home."

"We might be here a while." Darry said "I'm not sure what they will be doing with Pony."

"I don't care" Soda replied "Ponyboy needs both of us." Darry nodded and turned to look at his hands. He had always promised to protect his brother's but it looked like he had failed spectacularly tonight. Both of his brother's had ended up in the hospital, one of them possibly dying. Darry didn't know what he would do if he lost either brother. They meant the world to him, so how could he have been so harsh with Ponyboy? Sure, Ponyboy had been careless but it wasn't like he had been out getting drunk or doing drugs. Ponyboy had a good head on his shoulders, so Darry knew he wasn't likely to turn to drugs. Darry was proud of Ponyboy but sadly he didn't often tell him. Darry promised himself that if Ponyboy pulled through this then he would tell Ponyboy every single day for as long as they lived.

"You think something was wrong with Ponyboy before I got jumped?" Soda asked interrupting Darry's thoughts.

"Maybe" Darry replied "I didn't notice the signs but I'm pretty sure he wasn't feeling well at all."

"And you still gave him hell?" Soda asked he could vaguely remember Darry yelling at Ponyboy.

"I'm not proud of it" Darry muttered staring down at the white tiled floor.

"What if we have to say goodbye to him?" Soda asked "You'll have to live with knowing that you yelled at him right before he died."

"You don't think the guilt isn't killing me right now?" Darry asked "I can't stand the thought of how I treated him. I can't stand the thought of knowing that I might not get the chance to make it up to him." Darry frowned closing his eyes. His heart was hurting so badly just thinking about the possibility that he might lose his little brother. What had happened for Ponyboy to end up in this condition? How had he not even noticed?

Hearing the sound of hurried feet coming towards them, Darry looked up to find Johnny, Steve and Two-Bit and Dallas. "Johnny told us what happened." Steve said when the small group had reached them. "Do you know anything?"

"Not yet" Darry replied tiredly. He needed rest but he wasn't leaving until he knew Ponyboy would be alright.

"I probably should have said something earlier, but I'm pretty sure Pony had a migraine or one of those really bad headaches earlier." Two-Bit said "I kept seeing pained expressions cross his face and he kept rubbing at his forehead." Darry frowned. It sounded like Ponyboy had some kind of head injury. Where would Ponyboy have gotten one before Steve had shoved him? Just how long had Ponyboy been feeling bad? And why didn't he say anything to Darry about it? Whatever the reason for Ponyboy's silence Darry didn't think it was possible for him to feel anymore guilty than he did then.

"Of course, Steve didn't help matters by shoving Ponyboy the way he did either." Two-Bit muttered. Steve scowled at him.

"Let's not play the blame game." Darry said "because we all know it's my fault that Pony is here to begin with."

"Darry" Soda said softly, he knew how much this situation was hurting his brother. No matter what happened earlier Soda knew that Darry cared about Ponyboy, more than he ever showed. Soda had never once doubted Darry.

"Don't" Darry told Soda softly "You and I both know that his could have avoided if I had only paid a little more attention." Darry frowned down at the floor. He was always telling Ponyboy to use his head but it looked like he hadn't used his head this time. How cruelly ironic was that?

"Your not perfect" Soda said "it's okay for you to mess up."

"This mistake could cost Ponyboy his life." Darry muttered as he stood and began pacing around the small room. He was ready to hear something about Ponyboy. How long was it going to take to fix him? Darry ignored the small voice in his head that suggested that Ponyboy couldn't be fixed.

After what seemed like years but was actually a few hours. Darry spotted a doctor coming towards them with a grim expression on his face. Darry swallowed his fear and stood to greet the man.

"Curtis family?" The White haired man asked and Darry nodded.

"Can I speak to you in my office?" the doctor asked and both Darry and Soda stood and followed him to the office right around the corner. Darry had the feeling that he wasn't going to like what the doctor had to say.

"First off, I'm Dr. Harris" the man introduced himself, shaking both Darry's and Soda's hands. "I'm in charge of Ponyboy's care." Darry nodded and clinched his hands into fists again.

"No offense" Darry told the doctor "but I have been waiting for a couple hours to hear news on my little brother's condition."

"No offense taken." the doctor told them "I'm afraid the news isn't too good." Darry swallowed hard, feeling a sickness beginning to grow in his stomach.

"I'm afraid your little brother has a mild concussion." Dr. Harris said "but that's not what is really concerning to me right now. What signs was Ponyboy showing before he was brought in?"

"He was stumbling around, like he was drunk" Darry said "and a friend said that Ponyboy looked like he'd had a headache, he was rubbing at his forehead every few minutes. I thought it was a sign of a concussion or something."

"It could have been." the doctor said "how long has Ponyboy had the headache?"

"Maybe a few hours" Darry said "he would taken medicine for it if it had gone on longer than that. What are you thinking?"

"It's not what I'm thinking, it's what I know" Dr. Harris replied "I'm afraid Ponyboy has had an aneurysm in the brain."

"A What?" Soda asked not liking the sound of what the doctor was talking about.

"It's when an artery bursts in his brain." Dr. Harris replied "the vein was weak and filled with too much blood, causing it burst and bleed out onto the brain."Darry felt like throwing up right then. This couldn't mean anything good for Ponyboy.

"Can it be fixed?" Darry asked softly.

"We can go in and drain the blood" Dr. Harris said "but we can't really fix the artery."

"Will Ponyboy be okay?" Soda asked, his face pale and his eyes filled with fear.

"There are chances that Ponyboy, if he comes out of this, will be brain damaged" Dr. Harris said "His speech and movement could be effected, he could come back blind, or unable to walk at all."

"At least he would still be alive" Darry said "I don't care about how he comes back as long as he is alive."

"That's a good way to look at it." Dr. Harris replies "because he is going to require constant care if he is going to be able to make a recovery." Dr. Harris told them. Darry nodded he would do whatever it took for Ponyboy to come back to them.

"Can we see him?" Darry asked, he wanted to spend as much time with his little brother as possible. Dr. Harris nodded and stood, and Darry and Soda followed him out into the hall.

"He is in pediatric ICU for now until his condition stabilizes." A few minutes later, Darry and Soda were standing outside the room looking at Ponyboy.

Darry's youngest brother was hooked up to several machines, each one working to keep Ponyboy alive. Darry hated seeing his little brother like this, but he knew it was for the best.

Before Darry could follow Soda into the room, Dr. Harris pulled him away from the room.

"I want to warn you that we tested his brain activity, the signs weren't good. There is a chance that Ponyboy might not wake up at all." That really made Darry feel like getting sick. He didn't know what he would do.

"I don't believe in giving false hope but there is always the chance that Ponyboy won't recover." Dr. Harris said.

"You don't know Ponyboy" Darry replied "he always does better when the odds aren't in his favor."

After a few more minutes of conversation Darry entered the room and went to stand by Soda. A tube was taped to Ponyboy's mouth helping him breathe, while another tube was in Ponyboy's nose. Darry didn't like that they were there but they were keeping his little brother alive.

"baby, I never meant for the night to end this way." Darry said softly hating that the doctors had to shave Ponyboy's head so that they could drain the blood on Ponyboy's brain. He couldn't stop hearing the doctors words. "There is a chance that he won't ever wake up again, anything to do with the brain is very complicated." Ponyboy was going to prove the doctor wrong, he just had too, Darry didn't know what he would do if if he lost Ponyboy.

Bending down, Darry pressed a gentle kiss to Ponyboy's forehead, not sure if Ponyboy knew that Darry and Soda were with him.

"We're here Pony, and we are rooting for you to get better." Darry said softly. "we won't leave you alone until you are at home again."

 **Thanks for reading and reviewing. Liz**


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